Gossip from the Girls’ Room
Katie told Amber that Megan cheated on the big math test.
Amber said the answers were written on Megan’s shoe!
I couldn’t help but accidentally overhear gossip in the girls’ room today. Mia St. Claire and Alissa were talking (actually, they were whispering, so I had to overhear very carefully). They didn’t realize I was in the far left bathroom stall, the one at the very, very end. The reason they didn’t know I was in that very last stall, aside from me being super-discreet, is that NOBODY ever goes in there. On purpose. Ever since someone stunk up that stall really, horribly bad three months ago. And everyone knows that it’s still stink-haunted.
The only reason I, Sofia Becker, used that Stink-Haunted Stall is because all of the other stalls were occupied and I really had no choice. It was either that or take the chance of being called Puddles the rest of my sixth-grade life. And possibly seventh.
Mia St. Claire is only THE most popular girl in all of Middlebrooke Middle School, for three very obvious reasons:
1. She’s very rich and annoyingly pretty.
2. She has tons of money.
3. She can buy any thing and everything she wants. And she does.
I’m sure people like her for other reasons too, but none of those reasons are obvious enough for me to really know. Or care about, for that matter.
Even though it’s only our first year of middle school, Mia transferred her popularity from elementary school. Who knew popularity was transferable? Apparently, so is non-popularity.
But I have decided why Mia should be the most unpopular girl in all of Middlebrooke Middle School. For three very smart and intelligent reasons:
1. She has so much money she probably blows her nose with it. How gross is that?
2. I am way prettier than her. Even though nobody else thinks so. Except my BFF, Nona. And my parrot, Sam Sam. Even though I might have trained him to whistle at me and call me beautiful. Actually, I barely even remember teaching him that.
3. Mia acts like being super-pretty and totally rich doesn’t matter or something. Everyone knows it’s just an act to rub our noses in her fantasticness.
And really, what kind of a name is Mia St. Claire? “St.” is the abbreviation for street. And “Claire” is a girl’s first name. See what I mean? I think it’s just another way for her to be all show-offy about her tons of money. I bet her real last name is something non-richy-sounding and even totally boring. Like Snuffledorf or Gickerbob. Or Blah.
But definitely not Becker.
Back to the Girls’ room . . .
Okay, this is what I heard Mia say to Alissa, a seventh grader who’s not popular, but not totally unpopular either. Actually, just talking to Mia bumped her up on the popularity scale by 3 points. But she did start talking to Mia first, so -1 point for that.
I have filled in the blanks in the spots where I couldn’t actually hear every word, but I’m pretty positive about what was being said:
Alissa: Your hair is so fabulous.
Mia: Isn’t it? I love myself so much.
Alissa: So, guess what I heard?
Alissa: Someone has a crush on you.
Mia: Of course. Doesn’t everyone? I’m totally wonderful. Who is it?
Alissa: Well, I heard Andrew talking to Josh about you and . . .
WHAT?! Andrew is crushing on Mia St. Claire?
That’s where I stopped overhearing. Because at that exact moment my heart was tragically taken out of my chest, thrown on the ground, and trampled on by a thousand elephants into a million tiny pieces.
Andrew can’t like her! He just can’t. Seriously. Because he likes me, Sofia! Sometimes he calls me Barfia, but that’s just a pet name. Boys can be dumb like that. They don’t know how to show their true feelings sometimes. Most of the time. All of the time.
Andrew is not just cute, he is THE cutest guy in all of sixth grade. He’s the class president and he has a sense of humor that makes me spit chocolate milk through my nose.
Love Story Randomness
Once Upon a Time . . .
I tried to show Andrew, in a way he could understand, that I totally like him too.
I just closed my eyes and gently tossed an apple. At him. It’s not my fault I’m a totally awesome sporty chick with a mean throw.
Andrew was really mad, but really, I don’t know what the big deal is. It was only a small concussion.
The Happily Ever After is yet to be determined. Sigh.
(註) 女廁一般稱為ladies’ room，男廁是men’s room。但中小學裡廁所多是青少年和兒童在使用，故女廁稱做girls’ room，男廁為boys’ room。廁所裡的小隔間叫做stall。
(註) 美國中學稱為middle school，依地區不同，大致是五到九年級。本書設定中學一年級為六年級，中學二年級為七年級，以此類推。
Monday 01Gossip from the Girls’ RoomKatie told Amber that Megan cheated on the big math test.Amber said the answers were written on Megan’s shoe!I couldn’t help but accidentally overhear gossip in the girls’ room today. Mia St. Claire and Alissa were talking (actually, they were whispering, so I had to overhear very carefully). They didn’t realize I was in the far left bathroom stall, the one at the very, very end. The reason they didn’t know I was in that very last stall, aside from me be...